This machine isn't you

This machine isn't you

it isn't alive

without you, there's nothing left on this machine

this machine I relied on to keep me connected 

to people who aren't nearby

but it was all some kind of electronic illusion

close in spirit, far away in reality

we've been apart the whole time

left enclosed in our own minds, just reaching out

or trying to

I've been typing here in my own rooms the entire time

reading words and dreaming lovely dreams

and throwing my world out into the wind

or on the wires

on my own

no one forced me to bleed all over the keys!

but somehow I wanted to

on my own, I wished for you

and waited and hoped for more past the time I should have

and now I'm left with an unsettled feeling

as I try to disconnect 

because there's no reason for me to be on this machine now

the machine isn't you

and I don't know what to do with myself during these times

I used to write and dream lovely dreams for you


I can't help but be myself all the way to the end

the last day

my last breath!

I can't become numb until then

that last day, when my last drop of blood drips and dries

and my last bit of spirit floats out of 

this shell that is my body

I don't know what I'll do then!

but I have to be myself

all the way until that final night or day

Red Canvas

I feel like I could explode with frustration today

and then tomorrow morning, like melted metal

I'd be whole again, anxious and needing to do it all over 

I don't see how I could ever tell you 

buried too far down there to ever say

never to make it to the surface

and, what purpose would it serve anyway?

I guess I'm just going to have to walk around like this!

until the bits and pieces get worn off or fall out of the small holes

one chipped bit at a time

but, I'll be far away

and maybe these confused thoughts will just rattle around

in the barrel like pebbles in a polishing tumbler?

I don't know why it's been so impossible to pull them out!

like how what I wanted most I couldn't have!

and what I needed most I couldn't ask for!

I can say it's my hormones acting up

(which is true)

but, I know it's the inability to throw all my pieces into the wind

like a volcano or fire pit with a grenade

Balls of Light Overlap

Some nights it's just so apparent

there's no way I could stop loving you!

Give us a hundred more years...

a thousand!

I don't get tired of you

the love gets more complete as time goes by

we grow, but instead of getting farther apart

our circles seem to overlap more

(gold, yellow and red)

and so completely apparent sometimes

there's no way I could ever say

"Goodbye" to you

Anne Marie Scotto is a writer living in Florida.

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