Just want to check once.  Only five minutes.  Holy cow, look at all these likes.  I’m so funny… original… creative.  I should do this more.  What else are people up to?  When was the last time I saw her?  Wow, they got married?  When did she have a kid? 

Oh no, not again.  Another hour wasted.  Why is my attention span so short?  I’m hopeless… lost… unfocused.


Wow, that’s interesting. That would make a great Facebook status.  I’ll log in, but just for five minutes.

Max Schouweiler is a writer living in Los Angeles.

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