I’m an orphan. I'm putting myself up for adoption. Neuroses aside, I'm pretty easy-going. I sleep through the night most of the time. I don’t wet the bed much. I don’t throw too many tantrums. I can feed myself. I tie my own shoes. I’m a safe bet. A chance like this doesn't come around often. So please. Give me a chance. I’m looking for some of that parental unconditional love. I’m looking for someone to tell me I’m wonderful. I don’t care if you’re geographically undesirable. I’ll shlep to you. Think about it. What have you got to lose?
Carol Starr Schneider is a writer in Sherman Oaks. She writes a daily humor blog called Short Jewish Gal (www.shortjewishgal.blogspot.com)