Ask Amy

Laurel Hughes

Amy is on vacation this week.  In her absence, questions will be answered by her Border Collie, Marbles.



Dear Amy:  

My husband and I have been married for five years.  He is handsome and smart and the life of the party.  Everyone tells me how lucky I am.  Except recently I’ve noticed him looking too closely at other women and flirting with them as well.  For example, at a cookout last weekend, he insisted on helping my friend Sarah (not her real name) remove a ketchup stain from her shirt (she was still wearing it).  He was laughing as he touched her breasts and that made me uncomfortable.  

Am I overreacting?

MRS. WANDERING HANDS


Dear Mrs. Wandering:  

Sounds like your husband needs to be spayed!

Just kidding.  Is your husband aware of your feelings?  If not, you should sit down with him and discuss his behavior.  If he refuses to accept he has a problem, perhaps you could consult a trainer – I mean, therapist.  

Good luck to you!



Dear Amy:  

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost two years.  He’s the greatest guy in the world, except when he watches football.  If his team loses, he gets really angry.  He curses and throws things.  Last week he threw the remote at a window and cracked the glass.  When I tell him it’s just a game, he gets more angry.  I don’t want to end up with everything broken in my house.  What should I do?

WOULD RATHER WATCH GLEE


Dear Would Rather:  

Have you considered crate training?  It sounds as if your boyfriend needs to learn that destroying things is not acceptable.  I recommend a plastic crate because it’s easier to clean if he has an accident.  Adding comfortable bedding and a nice chew toy will create a place where he’ll feel secure and safe.

And always make sure he has something to drink.  A sturdy water dish is a must.



Dear Amy:  

When my husband and I got married, we decided we didn’t want children.  But over the years, I’ve changed my mind.  When I try to talk to my husband about it, he won’t listen.  I’m thinking of stopping birth control and not telling him.  Is that a terrible idea?

LONGS TO HEAR THE PATTER OF LITTLE FEET


Dear Longs:  

If he didn’t want a family, he should’ve had you fixed.  So what will he do when you get pregnant?  Put you in a shelter?  Make sure you receive good pre-natal care and you’ll pop out your litter with no problems.  Don’t worry if you eat their feces for the first couple of days, that’s common.

Let me know when you deliver!  Hope you have octuplets!



Dear Amy:  

I am seventeen and my parents want me to go to college.  But I’ve been thinking about taking a year off first.  I make good grades and I know I’ll go to college eventually, but I’m not ready yet.  I’d like to travel first.  Then settle down to college and a career.  My parents tell me I’m crazy.  What do you think?

NOT READY FOR COLLEGE


Dear Not Ready:  

When you’ve got an itch, scratch it!



Laurel Hughes is a writer living in California.


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